I Hate List (part II)


Some time ago I publish a “I Hate List” a list of annoyances we urbanites face on a daily basis. There are days I miss living in a small town.

This weeks I hate list;

Drivers that believe that aggressive driving is confident driving and as a so called “confident driver” they are a better driver. Okay I do a lot of things that so called confident drivers would not do, I stop at amber lights if I can, I don’t do rolling stops, I generally don’t drive more than 20 KPH above the speed limit and I have never been in a reportable accident. My buddy DA (for dumb ass) was raised in Montreal were they drive like freakin lunatics and claim to be the best drivers in the world (RIGHT!) claims to be a better driver. He rarely stops for stop signs, he doesn’t signal, he drives 140 Kph as he says “everyone does” and dodges in and out of lanes like an Indy car driver on acid. His insurance is over $1100 a month, and he thinks this is normal? He has had his license suspended twice, and he rarely pays his parking tickets. He INSISTS he is an excellent driver.

I hate old people that think because they are old they are due respect. Okay yes if you are old and have learned much, and seen much you can be due respect, but if you are still the obnoxious jerk you were in the 1940’s you are due the same lack of respect you were due then. I had surgery on my foot some time ago and was on crutches for almost two months. One day I am struggling with my crutches to get on the bus and some old “entitled” senior tries to push past me, which didn’t work as I am no little guy and the crutches just exaggerated that fact. Then I sit down in the courtesy seat and this old bag looks at me and asks for the seat. I ignored her but in retrospect I should have said Okay Madam I will get up risk reopening my stitches and bleed copious amounts of blood into my shoe, while risking infection and suffering a whole lot of pain just so you can sit your corpulent butt down for the measly two blocks that you’re traveling.

I hate people in those scooters designed for sidewalks that insist on using the road even when the side walk is as flat as a billiard table. If you have ever been to Ottawa you know Montreal Road is about the busiest road in Canada. One day I followed this guy in an electric scooter for five blocks as he went down the middle of the road at 5 Kph. No big deal I wasn’t in that much of a hurry but this guy got irate as people kept honking at him (he went red in the face). In reality I think honking at him was just rude and useless but what the hell was this guy thinking? It’s like stepping off a curb as the light turns amber in Montreal and expecting not to get hit by a car.

I hate idiots that think you’re supposed to ride your bike facing traffic (you’re a pedestrian don’t you know). No you’re a freakin vehicle you ride with traffic on the road not facing traffic not on the damn side walk not on walking paths etc… These types of ignorant idiots even teach this to their kids. When I was in school I remember some dork teacher telling us to ride facing traffic, when I complained I was told I was wrong. A few weeks late the school had an assembly were they told us all rules of the road and highlight the fact that as a bike you ride with traffic not facing it (unless you’re 7 or younger). I think some parents complained.

I hate smokers that think its okay to smoke where ever they like. Don’t you know that all this second hand smoke stuff is just BS (sarcasm intended). I was at the Ottawa Jazz Fest the other day and this dork decides to light up in the crowd. Hey buddy how am I going to escape your noxious fumes in this crowd? That said some raving antismoker 150 feet away decided to holler insults at the smoker, then the smoker hollered insults on the antismoker’s weight right back at him. Not being known to be quiet I added my 2 cents worth and told them both to shut the fk up so everyone else could listen to the music.

I hate pushy store clerks that try to sell you crap you don’t want. If I am looking for a pair of pants don’t bring me jackets or belts or shoes. The other day I went into a store looking for jeans, and this guy brings me a pair of “German made” designer jeans. I tell him I am not looking for designer jeans I am looking for casual jeans. He insists I try them on. I am about to but before I do I ask how much they are, and he say “I’m not going to tell you, I want you to try them on first.” My wife being the conciliatory type lowers my blood pressure by whispering “just humour him,” as I was already trying on a few other items anyway. First of all I say the jeans don’t fit and this dork says they do, then I say I don’t like jeans with only one back pocket and this guy insists no one wears jeans with two back pockets anymore. Then he tells me the price and I almost fall over laughing. $260 If the dork had told me the price originally he could have saved us both a lot of time. GRRRRRRR..

Okay I feel better now !

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