Illegal Immigration to Canada.


 Illegal Immigration to Canada. . . . . From The ManitobaHerald, Canada(a

 very underground paper):

 The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canadahas

 intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop

 the illegal immigration.

 The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning

 citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with

 Bill O’Reilly.

 Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology

 professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields

 at night.

 “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood

 producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitobafarmer Red Greenfield, whose

 acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

 “He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left. Didn’t even get a chance to show

 him my screenplay, eh?”

 In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfielderected higher fences,

 but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare

 Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The

 liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they

 wouldn’t give milk.”

 Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals

 near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them

 across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

 “A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario

 border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. “They did have a nice little NapaValleycabernet, though.”

 When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often

 wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have

 been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education

 camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch

 NASCAR races.

 In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimesingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus

 trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a

 half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration

 authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen

 passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were

 alive in the ’50s.

 “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we

 get suspicious about their age,” an official said.

 Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating

 an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon

 movies.

 “I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t

 support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does

 one country need?

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7 thoughts on “Illegal Immigration to Canada.

  1. Rats! Increased awareness of the border area. There goes my summer job as a “Yankee Coyote”.

    Well, if Hilary and Obama stumble next November maybe I’ll buy a red double-decker bus and start booking north-bound “Boxing Day Tours”. But I’ll make the lib passengers pay in CA dollars.

    Cheers

  2. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha…..

    It is quite the switch we used to have American dollar accounts here in Canada based on the strength of the greenback but now you can’t give the stuff away. Care to set up a Canadian dollar account? That said I suspect the Canadian dollar has topped out, and as soon as your President stops spending money like a Louis 14th on acid, or you win this never ending cash draining war things will change. Bush could learn a few things from Regan. Regan created a huge military deterrent but didn’t use it and won the cold war because the USSR couldn’t keep up. Bush just keeps burning through his military budget year after year, pouring more and more into a war that may never end. He should try the Regan approach and build a wall of security around Iraq that even a camel flea couldn’t get past, and wait the bastards out till they crumble like communism.

  3. I realize that sounds selfish, and I should consider the Innocent people of Iraq but like I have said before when this war is over there will likely be one Iraqi or Afghani fighter left sitting on a large pile of dead nationals and foreigners.

  4. Pingback: animal rights activist

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